Jenn Hicks

Archive for the ‘Body Image’ Category

Moving to breathe, breathing to move.

Sunday, March 13th, 2011
Breath of Life

Image by another.point.in.time via Flickr

When I dance, I really get in touch with my breath. I mean I really get in touch with it.

Not only do I become more aware of my breath when I move, but I also become more aware of how my body insists on that deep and full inhale and exhale that moving forces me to do.

And I must say, that deep-down-in-my-belly kind of breathing feels GOOD. Soooo good!

Last month at my annual physical, my doc did the usual listening to my chest with her stethescope. She was shocked at the depth of my breath, and I was surprised that breathing like I do is anything other than ordinary.

But it wasn’t always that way. I’m pretty sure that, just like it was my habit to stifle emotion in the past, it was also my habit to hold my breath. Not consciously of course, but it seems to me that I used to be reluctant to expand through my torso and belly to get enough breath. Having an eating disorder and body image issues will do that to a person…

I could probably list a ka-jillion benefits to breathing and could probably go on about the relationship between breath and movement, but I’ll leave that to the experts.

All I know is that breath and movement go hand in hand. And they are both an instant way to find pleasure!

Nia’s co-founder, Debbie Rosas, says:

“Conscious breathing improves mental clarity and can even release emotion and a sense of freedom”. Read more about her thoughts here.

 

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Asking me about my weight….

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

is NOT okay.

One more time, with feeling:

Asking me about my weight is NOT okay.

Over the past 3 days, I’ve had at least as many questions about my weight.

I tried to pass the questions off like they don’t bother me. I noticed myself avoiding the requisite response that usually follows a yes/no question.

Instead of confirmation or denial, I changed the subject:

“My hair’s longer, that’s all”


“My medication affects my weight”.

But those responses are a reminder that questions about my weight DO still bother me.

I’m reminded that my subconscious still expends quite of bit of energy uselessly thinking about bodies (mine and therefore others) in absolute terms:
too __________,
not __________ enough.

Which makes me realize that even though I have said goodbye to Anorexia, I am still sensitive to comments about appearance. And even though I spread the message about body acceptance through my volunteer work with Sheena’s Place, there is still a wee place inside me that needs to really embody that message.

There are days when I struggle with having to take my meds to help manage Bipolar Disorder. The fact that my meds affect my weight does not make them popular with me on those days.

So I have to talk myself out of using the weight gain side effect as an excuse to ditch the pharmaceuticals (which really do help me….it’s just that occasionally my bipolar brain tries to convince me otherwise by glamorizing mania and the accompanying weight loss).

My appearance is not who I am, so my weight is quite irrelevant. I am sensational because I ebb and flow and change and evolve.

In summary, Asking me about my weight is NOT okay.
(it actually sets me back a little)

For more information about healing from body image issues or eating disorders, check out Sheena’s Place ~ they offered me so much. Also, take a look at the National Eating Disorders Information Centre (NEDIC) website ~ the beautiful picture above comes from them.