Asking me about my weight….
is NOT okay.
One more time, with feeling:
Asking me about my weight is NOT okay.
Over the past 3 days, I’ve had at least as many questions about my weight.
I tried to pass the questions off like they don’t bother me. I noticed myself avoiding the requisite response that usually follows a yes/no question.
Instead of confirmation or denial, I changed the subject:
“My hair’s longer, that’s all”
“My medication affects my weight”.
But those responses are a reminder that questions about my weight DO still bother me.
I’m reminded that my subconscious still expends quite of bit of energy uselessly thinking about bodies (mine and therefore others) in absolute terms:
too __________,
not __________ enough.
Which makes me realize that even though I have said goodbye to Anorexia, I am still sensitive to comments about appearance. And even though I spread the message about body acceptance through my volunteer work with Sheena’s Place, there is still a wee place inside me that needs to really embody that message.
There are days when I struggle with having to take my meds to help manage Bipolar Disorder. The fact that my meds affect my weight does not make them popular with me on those days.
So I have to talk myself out of using the weight gain side effect as an excuse to ditch the pharmaceuticals (which really do help me….it’s just that occasionally my bipolar brain tries to convince me otherwise by glamorizing mania and the accompanying weight loss).
My appearance is not who I am, so my weight is quite irrelevant. I am sensational because I ebb and flow and change and evolve.
In summary, Asking me about my weight is NOT okay.
(it actually sets me back a little)
For more information about healing from body image issues or eating disorders, check out Sheena’s Place ~ they offered me so much. Also, take a look at the National Eating Disorders Information Centre (NEDIC) website ~ the beautiful picture above comes from them.
Right on Jenn…this message needs to get out there. You said it so clearly. Would you ever post it to Good News Toronto column?
Hi, Jenn- I don't know if you remember me. I used to attend NIA classes at the Union. I was usually the fattest person in the class, and I would usually wear shoes. Anyway, I get comments about my weight all the time, particularly "You look great! Have you lost weight?" which is really a weird anti-compliment, kind of like "You have such a pretty face."
I just say "I wouldn't know. I don't weigh myself." I think that it's sort of confrontational – "I don't care what I weight, so why do you?" – without being rude. And, in my case, it's true.
Hi Jenn,
Thanks for the thoughts, vulnerbility and DECLARATION.
During Nia class recently, we were "rumbling" in riding stance shaking every cell alive with joy. I invited the class to include any body part they have ever felt negative about. We had a blast!
Driving home I realized I could not think of ONE part of my body I ever thought good enough! …eye lashes too short, knees too fat, fingers short with no good fine-motor co ordination…..On and on it went. I was flabbergsted. I wondered how I got myself there. For me, awareness is half the key. I am happy to say, I spend more of my day feeling gratitude for my body since that time. It is a work in progress; as you say ebb & flow…
I find that women often make those comments & begin ‘body discussion’ as a way to interact or initiate female bonding. Like its always a compliment or a ‘safe’ thing. The socialization aspect is …bizarre.
When we are so much more than our appearance. We are intelligent, funny, amazing individuals.
[…] paused in shock. This type of comment can be very harmful and could really set me back. My usual response would be silence fuelled by anger. But today for the first time EVER I was […]