Comments About My Weight and Internalized Fatphobia

I had an experience at the end of my online Nia class today that I can’t get off my mind.

I was chatting with the students as I normally do when we’re done class. We’re talking about air travel when one woman makes a comment about my weight.

I paused in shock. This type of comment can be very harmful and could really set me back. My usual response would be silence fuelled by anger. But today for the first time EVER I was able to calmly say “I don’t talk about my body or my weight”.

Prior to today I would have gotten flustered and not have been able to respond directly to her. The idea of confrontation has always prevented me from setting boundaries about my body when people talk about it.

@_jennhicks

Working on myself… #BodyAcceptance #BodyLiberation #Fatphobia #WeightStigma

♬ original sound – Jennifer Hicks

Initially I walked away from that interaction feeling good about the fact that I was able to clearly state my position. And then I noticed I started feeling bad, like I had done something wrong or had been disrespectful.

But I was able to shut that down quickly as a new awareness popped in – the “feeling bad” was coming from my internalized fatphobia.

It was telling me that I didn’t deserve to set the record straight about my body and its worthiness.

What a powerful force pushing me to accept the status quo and not challenge the diet industrial complex. I have so much work to (continue) to do when it comes to such deeply entrenched oppressive paradigms that hurt me and those around me.